Twitter / emswazzu

Showing posts with label ponderings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ponderings. Show all posts

Friday, October 03, 2008

Sense of self

Who are you? Who am I?

I have had to confront this with myself, specifically of late.

I have had to think whether I define myself or others define me.

Do I define my value, or do you?

Well, after 35 years and counting, I think I can answer this question.

I do.

I have a desire to be desired, loved, liked, admired, valued, depended on, etc as do most people. But...

I cannot let others define me.

I cannot let others value of me, be my value.

I have always preached that if people(friends, etc) do not want to be around me, they shouldn't. I really only want people around me that want to be. Be it 1 person, or 100.

That old cliche, it's really not quantity, it's quailty. I think here it is true.

I value me. And I value people that value me. That value my friendship, that value my heart, that value my loyalty, that value my very being.

There are people that will decide I am not worthy of them. Their prerogative for sure.

But I cannot take any one elses hang ups, issues, opinions unto myself.

I can only be the person I am. Flawed, caring, loyal, sarcastic, smart, flakey, aloof, independent, provacative.

Knowing oneself, valuing oneself is something that is a continuous challenge for me. The confidence in my own value. Not letting anyone else through their attention, or lack there of make me think, I am not worthy. Be it professionally or personally.

Life is not easy. Being true to yourself, at every turn is not easy. Loving yourself, valuing yourself, is not easy.

But it is so important. It is what I need to do, to want to wake up each day. To want to live. To want to love. To want to chase that life that I most want.

My deepest desire, my ever long goal, is to chase my bliss. To be passionate, to be bold, to be myself.

Love life, love you, love me. We are all worth it. Value you.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Nobody Buys Normal...

Do they? Really?

I would counter...

Recently, a friend has made me think. I know, watch out...a random ramble is sure to be forthcoming...lol;)

ok, seriously though...what is normal? Do any of us really want to be, normal?

Why?

Anyway, what inspired me to this, is a friends birthday post...about their life, what they have done, been through, etc. Hasn't been an easy life. But is life supposed to be easy? Kind of like, should we want to be normal?

I would say, no. The most interesting people, I have ever met, are quirky odd people. People that inspire me due to their strengths.

In part, my own parents. They were/are good people. They did not have easy lives.

My father came from a littered bit of a broken home. His own father, well, he never really knew(though they met a few times); he had no love loss for him. This man was more than a bit flawed, and for sure did my grandmother wrong. Following that, a step father, who was more than a bit challenging to their family.

His mother, my grandmother...well she is my hero. She still lives...has seen both my father and her step son pass. Has persevered through 2 earlier marriages, that while they gave her 2 beautiful boys, and a step son, were no joyride. 2 husbands that anyone would have rather not dealt with what she had to battle through. All through that, she worked, she owned her own business, she put bread on the table, and so much more. She finally met my grandfather(the only one I ever knew), my dads step dad, who she has been married to, just shy of 50 years. They have had a wonderful life. But grams, lived through the depression and a couple loser husbands before all that. She triumphed over the first few hands she was dealt before she got her winning hand. She is strong, she is brave, she is more than I could ever hope to be. These were just a few of her challenges...there were many many more. But she is one of those people, that show me that there is no quit in life. I am sure she always dreampt of a white picket fence life. But that is not what life gave her. But it is not matter, you figure it out, and you make it work.

My dad saw how his mother made it through life, and it shaped what he wanted out of life, I think. He wanted a solid home, a family that was valued above all else. He worked and lived for us. We always went on family, non extravagent, vacations, we always ate at the dinner table together, we watched tv together; he pushed both my sister and I constantly to do well in school and follow our potential through to a college education. He was proud of us. He was critical, sure, but it was always with love. I think in someways, he wanted what was "normal". But quite honestly, what we had was so much more. I value that. Not everyone got what we did growing up. I still miss him; but what he gave to us, I will forever be grateful and cherish. He taught me love and commitment. Strength and loyalty. And he taught me, yes, just a bit...about being a smart ass;)

My mother...her story is I think, so fun, interesting, heart wrenching and inspiring. She grew up in an imperfect family. My grandfather(RIP) was no saint(though some would argue). My grandmother(RIP), who grew up more than a bit spoiled, raised a family under conditions and settings and events, I don't think she ever imagined would transpire. On her passing, we read some of the love letters her and my grandfather exchanged in the early days of their courtship. It was so strange reading the prologue to their lifes story. The hearts and flowers and romance of it all. Well, like we all know, life does not end with folks going off into the the sunset, living happily after all. Life is full of both glory and agony. There was much of that in their story. Some truly horrible things, that are too personal to share. But, aside from that...there were times my family worked in the fields, lost their house, were hungry, were left wondering, why? But my mothers mother, this grandmother, was also one of my heros in life, she still is even as she has passed. She triumped over an imperfect husband of more than 50 years, raised 5 children and several foster children in sometimes exceedingly challenging circumstances...she lived to see many many great grandchildren--though she always wanted more more more(sorry grams!). She suffered, she loved, she was there for so many of our family when they needed her most; I can only wish we had all been there for her a bit more.

I think her choices and her life, always guided my mother. My mother who grew up, and I swear partied more than I ever did, through her 20's...lived a fun life following her youth. Who was unafraid. Who also then, had to conquer additional health challenges(in her youth, in her 20's, and ever since a varied slew of challenges physically). Mom was always extremely strong in her beliefs. I think it is in part a result of her being the middle child. She was an observer. She knew what she wanted and what she did not. Always has been that way. Her and dad often clashed as I think they had such strong fundamental personalities. But it is also what kept them together. Their shared value on family. Their love of us, and of each other.

They are my example. They were not normal. I see normal every day. The were extraordinary in many many ways, even as they were imperfect.

I struggle constantly with where I am in life. I often find I am nowhere. What the hell am I doing. Sometimes I think I am far too normal. I go to work, I don't do anything crazy, I just am. I hate drama. But sometimes life needs a little drama.

I am one of those people, perhaps that has had it easy. I never did drugs, rebellion, casual sex, etc etc... Not because I am necessarily above any of it, it was simply never a choice I had to make. Never got offered any of it! Never...seriously. LOL.

I think when I have done some crazy things in recent times, it has been with maturity, and my eyes wide open. I know who I am. I am not reckless, but I hope, I am not normal either. My path is still uncertain. I hope to find where I am going. Who I am will be who I am, when life takes me there.

In the end, people, I believe in Carpe Diem...sieze the day, live your life, it's the only one you got. I am going to live mine. Hopefully, I don't fall asleep along the way...if I do, please...wake me up!!

xoxo

Friday, March 21, 2008

Randomly Friday, Thank God!

Thoughts to ponder.............

...It shouldn't be so difficult...whatever...easy is good...

Girls are crazy........myself included...

Life can be both achingly slow, and excessively fast...all at the same time.......

Rock is sex.............does there need to be any more to that bit?! lol...

Cool is an attitude...Hottness is perception...the Beholder grants both...

Happiness is our own to have or leave...at our own volition...

Reality...is ours...

Love...is bliss.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Rock or Kitchy Catchy Pop?!

LOL...Confession is good for the soul, no!?

My most recent Itunes purchase...I can't get these songs out of my head...

I may be a rock girl...but I will go super sugary sweet pop on occasion........

Starting strong...

The Pretender - Foo Fighters <---must see live

Slightly more catchy kitch...

Paralyzer - Finger Eleven <---majorly addicted to this song

Ok, now hold onto your trenchcoats... I know the Platinumback(ha ha) is the fave snark of some...but I adore the song ...

Rockstar - Nickleback <--- da lyrics are tres true!!! lmao...it kills me...

Now for the MAJOR kitchy catch poppy gooey mess...

Um-br-ella-ella-ella - Rihanna <---hey, I live in Seattle...and I don't wear parkas!

Glamorous - Fergie <---spell it girl...I'm flying first class...mmm hmm, I wish...

And to reign(ha ha) it all back into semi respectability...

Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches <---thank you preggers teenagers...lol Sigh...


And to wrap it all up...of the aforementioned...I adore the saccharine sweet some may say cliche lyrics of Rockstar...and you know...I am all about those dirty boys;)

"NICKLEBACK
"Rockstar"

I'm through with standing in line
to clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
quite the way I want it to be

I want a brand new house
on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
for ten plus me

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[CHORUS]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free

I think I'm gonna dress my ass
with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
blow my money for me

I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
from a pez dispenser
When they ask why I drink all day
I'll say because I can

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don't get 'em wrong
Then listen to the fans tell me how damn good I am

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name"

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

My Dating Reality...

For those of you following along...

Yes, I know I need to...

I have posted ads everywhere...as previously blogged/stipulated...

But, my people...I suck at actually pulling the trigger and making dates...

And even when I do, I often don't go on more than one with the blokes(ha ha, such a funny term, blokes)...

If I don't like 'em, I don't bother with more...just like that book...just not that into you...It's quid pro quo, no!? lol...

It is quite simply, hard to meet new people, friends, co workers, etc...not least of all folks you may want to have a deeper connection with. Dating can suck...but if you meet the right person, it can be fabulous...or all end in a mired mess...lol, such is life. It is not neat nor predictable.

But it is scary. New people. New emotions...new new new...sigh...lol...fabulous and horrendous all at the same time.

Have I mentioned before it is all too much!? Yet not enough...

I have forced myself in this new year to take a slight step out of my insular world and shell, and to do more than talk about it here...(never did meet more than one or two of the CL guys last year...eepers!)

Of late, have I dated many or just one!? Well that is mine to know...and if you are lucky, yours to find out;) Ha ha...just joshin...

My reality, not so mysterious...if you know me, just ask...if you are just randomly reading...well, you can imagine whatever you like...

A note...those Sex and the City girls...(the characters)...noone I know in reality gets that much action...not by an exponential amount...just sayin...lol...that would be tiring.......

And...noone has that many great pairs of shoes...........

"Hello........lova!" (You must be an SATC fan to get this, lol)

Your friendly excessive blogger come oh so innocent groupie.....

~ems
xoxo

Monday, March 10, 2008

In Bruges

A beautifully disturbing film. I have to admit, I don't see many flicks with Mr. Farrell headlining...

However, I found this one quite interesting...that is when I wasn't (pleasantly) distracted by my date..........

But we will leave that for another time perhaps...

Movies...I really have gotten out of the habit of going in the last couple years...but I do love them...

Even bad movies have value. I love the escape, the far off locations...it is a bit like a 2hour vacation every time. Fantasy, comedy, drama, action...pure escape...bigger than life. It envelopes you...

Colin's character, in this film, did not appreciate the gloriously historic surroundings...though everyone else in the movie did...but then, he was but an inept hitman who really just wanted to get a pint and get laid...

I am not sure he ever got the second...sadly. Clearly, his character was not of his own clear charms(I mean how sexy is that Irish accent!?)...

Anywho, I would give this film *** stars...not the best, but very intriguing in its characters...definitley a character piece, not anything epic, nor earthshattering...but interesting and quirky...and oft times quite amusing.

Ralph Fiennes comes in for last portion of the film...so funny...these hit men almost have a heart...but then, not really? Or do they?

Anyways...my message? Go to the movies. They are the cheapest vacation you will ever go on!

http://imdb.com/title/tt0780536/
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809826831/info
http://www.cinematical.com/2008/01/18/sundance-review-in-bruges/

Monday, February 25, 2008

Anticipation...

Stomach in knots...nerves all a flutter...

Mind whirling...

Tic Toc...

Inability to properly focus...

Any of this sound familiar?

Anticipation...

That sweet ache...

So much we anticipate...

What am I currently anticipating...

Well am currently dating...

Dating is a merry go round of anticipation, of uncertaintly...a mentally exhaustive exercise...

It is almost too much...

Why do we do it?

I suppose because we desire...

We want...

To chase our bliss...

But holy fucking cow(lol)....................it really is almost too much...

The questions constantly swirling in my head: does he like me, does he want me...do I like him, do I want him...?!?!?

The fantasy...will reality measure up?

The reality...are we ready for it?

The risk...if it doesn't work out...if it does...?

Sigh...and we keep coming back for more...

The nerves on edge, for that chance...we anticipate...

We cannot stop...

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Do I believe? Do you? New Years resolutions...

I usually don't do them...or I suck at doing them...or I just forget them?

This year, I want to see if I can do these 5 things...they are not that hard! I should be able to. And I think, they would be good for me.

Let us see how it goes!

http://ems2008newyearsresolutions.blogspot.com/

Monday, December 17, 2007

Rant ~ Malice & Hypocrisy

Mean dark twisty words. For sure.

I don't like them. They piss me off.

Malcontent of heart turns your spirit to stone IMO.

Hypocrisy, leads to bad policy, bad feelings, and bad practice.

Both of these are relevant in our daily lives, in politics, in our every move.

I do not get being mean to destroy. What the fuck is the point? I mean, yeah, I am a bitch...I have my evil moments. But real meaness, with out true bearing on reality? Malice out of boredom, that is meant to truly hurt? This pisses me off. I cannot help it. Get a grip. Live how you want. That is the right of the individual. But I truly believe that do unto other stuff. And Karma. She's a bitch. Just sayin...

So what has set me off? Turn on CNN. Review the world. There is much greatness. I will not lie. But, the individual ugliness, cannot be ignored.

The world is what we, each and every one of us makes it. For every negative turn, I take my own actions responsible. But, yes, there is a but...But, I have empathy. I may think someone is a bitch, ass, etc...but I try to see their side. Why, why do I give a fuck? I have no idea. But, I refuse to judge others for petty trangressions. To me that illustrates the practice of malice and hypocrisy, all rolled up into one.

Do 2 wrongs make a right? Sadly, no. Thus, cracking on someone's ass, just because you "think" they have done you wrong, well it is petty, and it is small. Ok, maybe it is huge. But it is not productive. Productive is solving things, working for something, creating things, promoting things. Productive is not tearing things down. That would be called: destruction.

While destruction may have it's attraction, it is without a next step.

Sleep well, and make love not war.


~Hypocritical Bitch

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Am I famous yet?!?!

Find me and you win.........a gold star...

This was on TV......in Canada! lmao...yes, I crossed borders to see an Aussie Band.....in Canada!



Less likely to make me "famous"(as if the other is moreso! lol)...just youtube, no tv...praise be:)



Am I a *star* yet?!?!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Reality Blurred

What is reality?

It is no secret we have become obsessed with celebrity culture. The more than a decade anniversary of Princess Dianna's death reminds of this in no uncertain terms.

Ratchet that up a notch? Try reality TV. Where we put "real" people, in front of the camera, to be consumed by the masses. It's a great profit for broadcast...much lower overhead than scripted tv, etc. But is it dangerous, healthy, or good TV? I think the answer is yes, yes, yes! Sometimes, more of one than the other, but...

And I am not preaching here...I am a huge fan of some of these shows. And am meh, about many others.

My favorites over the years ~ MTV's pioneer series: The Real World (ha ha!), Rockstar, The Hills, Rock of Love, Project Runway... There have been others...but those are the ones I still watch! (new / old). Arguablly the most popular over the years have been Survivor, Amazing Race, Big Brother, American Idol. I have watched the latter 3 some, and recognize their success. Remember some of the others: The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, The Osbournes, The Newlyweds(lmao, didn't work out so well after, eh!?), Road Rules, etc, etc.

All of these things have created a new kind of celebrity. Talented or not. What it has also born, is a new type of fan. Or maybe it is a new level of fanaticism. Again, not counting myself out here. If anything, being a fan of some of these folks, I think it gives me unique insights...And I am nothing if not critical of myself! Know when thyself is crazy, ya know?

So anyway, to my point...and yes, I do have one!

What has this new "reality" done to us? It seems, in some cases is has let these "real" people right into our living rooms. I think the TV star(scripted) has always inserted itself more deeply into our consciousness than the fabulousness of the movie stars...that seem just out of reach. But, it would seem that these "real" people bring us in, just a bit closer, no?

We learn all about their lives. Their foibles, their fears, their inner demons, their dramaramas... We see what we think is their "true" character, revealed to us on these series. And for the truly enamored, read: somewhat obsessed(again, include me right here!), there is an element that pushes all of this one step further... Cyberspace! So, take the equation: "real" people + edited for entertainment drama only + fans that read and post about your every move...what does that equal?

It equals a hyper "reality" . But is any of this real? Take one of my favorite shows in the aforementioned: Rockstar. I loved that show. It is so accessible in my opinion. Rock music. Hot musicians. Colorful, fast, spectacular. (We won't lament here that they have not renewed it for a third season--wahh!). But it wasn't just music. It included, in addition to live performances... a peek into the weekly trials of the competition, "back at the mansion". Great, great TV. And they had great material. The first season's winner, featured that too cute bad boy: JD Fortune from Canada. The second season, the skunk hair faux hawked Lukas Rossi, also from the North, eh. Add in the bunch: other would be rockstars, all tattooed, fighting over songs, calling each other out, saying one wanted it more than the others, others thinking they were better singers, and weekly excessive voting by the viewing masses... Freaking good TV.

Anyways, what goes with this, is that we think we know these guys. There are sites all over the internet on all these shows...dissing various people/contestants (on the competitive shows), lamenting their choices, and in many cases, carrying on into the post show. Folks send them gifts, etc. Fans meet these "real" people, and ask them questions about their personal lives. Judgments are made, movements are tracked. What was once saved for stalking the celebrities is now, the obsession, with these "real" people, as if we know them and are friends with them.

It is crazy. Fun crazy sometimes, but crazy nonetheless. Now, don't get me wrong, I have met, so many fabulous people, being part of a fan community. I have enjoyed live concerts with folks that know how to party like nobody's business! And yes, I have met some of these "real" people, from the TV! It has been a great ride, I will not diminish that.

But...but, it is so strange! That I know, who someone is dating(or doing, lol) when it is not public knowledge(read not in any tabloids), have corresponded with folks about some would say scandalous goings on behind the scenes. It is weird, when I see live, in front of my very eyes, folks acting as if they are 'owed' something from these "real" people, because they have supported them, because they know their birthdays, because they gave them gifts, because they paid alot of money...because they show off their boobies............................

When you see folks practically throwing down to scratch and claw their way to look into the eyes of these people that were introduced to them, or reintroduced to them via this medium, of reality tv...it is so strange. When folks use cyberspace to promote their cracked agendas, and their alternate realities about these "reality" tv personalities... It's as if, we, the people, the fans, forget, these people are REAL.

They are not a "character". They are simply human beings, that sure, have used TV to further themselves. But, that does not make them my best friend, and it does not make them need to tell you how their mom or dog is. They are not our friends, they are not our family. They are actors, doctors, singers, etc, that came to us, presenting a condensed version of themselves, that was then edited to a "reality" story, that producers wanted to show us. That is not "real" ...that is TV.

Blurry, isn't it? That's life...that's, "reality".

For what more drama these "real" folks can blur themselves into obsession with, read: http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/

The shows, are getting more freaky! And I hate to say it, but maybe, so are we!

Monday, September 17, 2007

It really is ALL about me...here...

Ha ha, yes, my blog, my words, my bitching;)

Well, this one moment...I am going to publish the fine words of one of my most creative cyber friends...from the UK he jumps into the den of inequity we wrought... one guess the subject...lol;)


Life Thru A Lens

[{(I say this in parenthesis
For she's a girl you cannot miss!)}]

Attitude to life so big
Snapping shots of BINX and Twig
Photographic lens so long
It catches in her boy's thong

Multi shots and posts prolific
Protests many are too horrific
No one cares, they just want crack
When from a concert she comes back

Technicalities aside
To telephoto or just go wide
A lens and SD cards to choose
Batteries that never snooze
Going up to 18X
Climbs Mount Olympus then whines
Blury shot my boy looks gaunt
A steady shot of him I want

Obscure comments...(LOL)
despite which she's still proud
To be a moderator of fun
And pinch somebody's hot BINX bun
Gotta post; update her blog
Reviews of who she'd like to snog
Computer nerd of highest order
I think she's nearly crossed the border
Insanity and so much fun
For 13K, when it should come...;)

by the most adorable INXSer I know...



For more of his words of wisdom read here.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Don't Fuck with my Mellow - Rant #2

So, what kinds of things are sticking in my craw right about now?!?!?!

LOL…eh, so much to choose from.

First, this is my place, so I can talk about whatever the fuck I want, so I will...if you don’t like it, you can just click away to another place…good, we understand eachother, xoxo ;)

That same consideration I give to everyone....you have your own myspace, blog, whatever, you do whatever you want…it is yours. I won’t tell you what you can do with it, if you should, shouldn’t moderate it, track it, delete it, make it private, whatever…it’s all yours baby.

Me, well most all of that shit, is too much trouble. Can I have a tracker…hell yeah! Do I? Well that’s my business! Lol…But honestly, all that stuff is more trouble than its worth mostly…What it does teach you, is that there is little to no way, that anyone is truly anonymous. I am not, I don’t really ever try to be.

But, I also hold no illusions.

Do any of us really? If I really want to know you are you, well some of us will meet, some of us not. For those of us that don’t there is a giant leap of faith we take. In the end, though, it matters not.

Cyberspace is a wonderful, crazy, dangerous, exciting, amazing place. We get to chatter w/folks from around the world, from all walks of life. Doesn’t matter if you are famous, or exceedingly common, or even DULL! Of course, folks will impersonate and represent themselves alternately through this medium. This is part of the ultimate craziness.

Do I really care about this? Not really. Do I ever pretend to be other than myself out there? Sure, it is fun. Do I care if you do? Not really. Do I care if you share space with someone and say you are them, and them you? Oy! Tres confusing. But your thing , not mine! Some call this cyber fraud. Whatever. If you are a frog, and pretend to be Prince, lol…well, at least use a nice picture! If you are a goddess and pretend to be an Adonis……..well…uhmmm, you have your own issues! If you are a real person, and are portraying an inanimate object……..just play it REALLY still. Just sayin;)

OK, then….

So what else is there…well, I have been privy to….alot of interesting information recently…..about all sorts of folks………eh, it’s entertaining…but then so is E! News, and People magazine.

Reality, I don’t necessarily care who is fucking who, who is impersonating who, who is cheating on who, etc, etc…………..but….but it is funny to hear about, sometimes. I find it amusing, really, those that get overly caught up in it………..that want to have a say, in say, some famous person fucking someone else. Uhmmm, lol, if it is not me they are fucking, then it probably doesn’t matter what I really think about it……….unless one of the 2 parties is calling to ask my advice, lol….and so far, that only happens w/the closest of close friends, lol……..

You know, if any artist, singer, dancer, movie star, decides to date the funniest looking person ever………..with the most disgusting job ever……..whatever…..how they are both having a good time. Not my issue…just sayin….that said, I might find it amusing if you tell me about it…but it does not effect my state of mind…..though sometimes other peoples craziness…lets face it…….helps make us all feel a little more sane. That is why the Enquirer, has such high circulation……….That and the space aliens……

Ok, now …let me not beat too far around the bush…………..I have been reading all over the internet recently, a few people that are all BENT over a few chicas that are all up in their Boytoy’s interests……….SHOCK! lol….quells……..

Peeps…this is not new!!!! Girls DO THIS. Lol…I mean, seriously! I have talked to lots of significant others of folks in the music industry this last year……….they are, mostly all cool people….I do not know them, but they have all been polite…whether I have met them face to face or chatted w/them via email through some research I was doing on said artist.

I have talked to family members, band members….all cool peeps. SO’s are just an extension of this. Many have been very active on their mates sites, message boards, etc….some are artists or musicians themselves……..others, are just there, doing whatever for their Man or Woman, as it were…. It’s all good peeps.

And big FAT evs to any of you that give a rats ass about anyone that has impersonated anyone. That’s right… WHO THE FUCK CARES?!?!?!?… most of the folks I have met in person, are cool. What goes on in cyberspace…it is just crazy as I said above. I really hold no expectations of it.

I am all for promotion of artists and their respective talents. Let’s do what we can. I am also all about amusement and fun…………….. tell me shit, I will lmao w/you…. Snark about someone’s hair, yeah baby, you know I am there… tell ME ALL ABOUT how they sang song after song to YOU looking into your eyes the whole time, BWAH… it’s all good.

The rest, if you are just about this land of cyber, to complain, or yank my chain about your agenda……..well, I might listen, or I might tell you to fuck off. That is MY prerogative.

Love Baby Love. Don’t fuck with my mellow.

Doubles for EVERYONE!




Ems

Friday, January 12, 2007

New Years Rant... Being mean, Hypocrisy, Friendship, etc...

So, there are many outlets these days, for all of us to say our piece, right? Well, hell, this is my blog, so, eh, I am soooooo, going to say it here!

Continue to read at your own risk. Not for the faint of heart. Also, this is not a hearts and flowers bit, as I am more prone to. This is just a bit angst filled, so again, proceed at your own risk. This is me ranting to myself. I am not sending this to anyone, you will only read this if you are making an effort to. Additionally, this is not directed at anyone. Period. Alot of stuff has just set me off lately, so I am just going to go off on some stuff that I think here...

- I am sick and tired of folks being holier than thou. WTF!??!?! Live life as you mean it, don't preach to me, what you think I am doing wrong. Worry about your own choices, behavior, actions, etc.

- Being mean - there is no excuse, if you are mean, fucking own it. Am I a nasty ass bitch sometimes, yeah, probably. I am cool with that, and I own the consequences. That said, don't make excuses for others that are mean, rude, etc. We all have to live with our own actions. If you do something that hurts someone else, be careful, karma is a bitch, it might come up and bite you back on the ass! That said, please becareful! This can become a viscious cycle...

- Hypocrisy. Do I really need to go on? Well I will anyway. We see this in politics all the freakin time. I see it daily, in person. The way people behave. Again, I think this goes back to owning what you do. Actions speak louder, etc. Don't say one thing, believe one thing, and then, do the other, act another way. Just freakin be consistent whatever you do. This is tough, even for me! But, it sure makes more sense. Just sayin;)

-You don't have to like me, and I don't have to like you. This is the biggest issue I have with some folks. The need to 'be liked'. You know, I don't like everyone...and I really don't want everyone to like me. We are all different. That I accept. Sometimes, some of us do not see eye to eye, and will never converge on the basics. That is cool. Those folks do not need to be my enemy, but they sure as heck, do not need to be my friends either.

- Friendship. I have friends that I have been friends with for over 20 years. Gee, am I getting old? I also have friends I have met in the last year. I love you all. I value you all. I am extremely loyal. If you ever need anything, I will be there for you. I expect the same thing in return. If you have a problem with me, come to me, don't be passive agressive, don't bitch about me to someone else. Also, I don't choose between friends. Sorry, just doesn't happen. I don't fight with friends either. It is simply not worth the drama. I accept that my friends, like myself, are not perfect. But you all are fun, and decent, good people. Lets just respect each other, and carry on.

Ok, so the brunt of my bitchiness has worn off...maybe more will come to me later? LOL...I hope not, but you never know. Over an out for now. I hope everyone is having a good day;) See, I am a hearts and flowers, kumbaya chick! Really, I am ! (what the fuck ever, eh?!?!?!?!?)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Ends of Earth, Here I come!

LOL...since that is where I last left off...

So leaving this Thursday to go down and visit sis in the Bay Area...we are flying out via SFO to Seoul...we fly direct...it's a LONG flight!

So I got an extended IPOD battery thingy...you just keep filling it w/batteries, and it can go on forever;)

So off I am in a few days. I know I will have fun, even if I can barely remember how to say hello and thank you...

Will post some pics and a trip diary, maybe mid way if I make it to an internet cafe, otherwise on my return!

I am really looking forward to seeing some of the palaces,etc, maybe visiting the DMZ, and of course, shopping the markets!

Catch ya' on the flip side :)

Next up after Korea, will be my very own 'California Dreamin' tour...hee... betcha' can't guess what that entails!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

I have a "Car Crush"...

What is a 'Car Crush'? you ask...well, let me explain...

First, I don't currently own or drive a car regulary. I lived in Downtown Seattle, since September 2001, and when my then car lease came due in the summer of 2002, I decided to go car-free. Its been a refreshing few years. I have had a car previous to this since I was 17, so it has taken some getting used to.

Now, I've always had an affinity for sports/sporty cars. They look sexy, they go fast, etc, etc. The last car I had was a Chrysler Sebring Coupe, fully loaded. Nice roomy car (I need lots of leg room) and a nice V6, in black...lovely car. I would call it sporty, not a sports car. I've only covetted them, never owned an official 'sports car'.

So given these details, you would think...ok, she has a car crush...it gotta' be on a hot car, right? Nope! In the last year, as I've contemplated possibly acquiring a vehicle again...I have, for some reason developed this infactuation with the cutesy, Mini Cooper! I have no idea why, I am usually not into 'cute cars'...But I have researched them up and down, and am stuck on them as a next car choice; they come in all sorts of colors, and even have engine options for extra vroom, power!...of course, at this point, I still can't make a case, that I actually need a car...so I still have no plans to actually go out and buy one... but if I did...

...and funny, I have not even test driven one...maybe that is what I need to do, to get over this affinity with this car... you know, give it a go!

but oh, they are cute!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

My Space ????? Part One...

So, I'm sure you all have heard of this new cyberspace deal called 'My Space', right ? Apparently, everyone has one, nowadays...

Yes, even I have one...

The thing is...How the heck do you make these things work ??

Well, you may think...uhmmm, 'you gotta blog, you oughta be able to figure out My Space...'

And, yes, I am generally pretty technically savvy. But, I've seen some awesome My Space profiles...apparently you either know some HTML, and whatnot, or you can hit up the internet and google scripts, build out tricked out profiles, etc...so, that is my next project... I mean, I don't want to be one of those dorks (like I am now, LOL) with a plain background My Space , and no friends...

That's the other thing...this add friends thing...how does that work? Well, I know folks that have told me to add them; I suppose I will... I should at least add the folks that I have listed here on the sidebar (they all have rocking sites btw!)...

But I don't want to add when I don't even have my own profile tricked out yet...

THAT would be embarassing!

Friday, March 31, 2006

2006, my year so far, a year in XS...

Well, so far this year, can only be described one way: INXS (pronounced: in excess). . .

INXS you ask? Well if you are reading this, and you are not me, LOL...you likely know this is the name of a band I have become a bit enraptured with!

And no, Mom! it is NOT N'sync!

Seriously...N'sync...INXS...not the same thing! One is a currently defunct boy band...the other, INXS, is a recently rejuvenated hot ROCK BAND! Remember them?!?!? Back in the late 80's, early 90's they had a long string of hot dance rock hits...Never Tear Us Apart, Need You Tonight, Devil Inside, Suicide Blonde...just to name a few...

Anyway they are back, thanks in large part to a freakin' rockin' TV show last summer that helped them fill the spot of lead singer, open since 1997's untimely demise of the late Michael Hutchence (RIP). Apparently (unbeknownst to me) they had been trying a couple of other singers in the interim, but none had worked out until now...Anyway, the tv show? Rock Star: INXS . . .Oh my god! That show was TV crack, LOL ;) Addictive to say the least...and aeons better than the best of American Idol...anyway, I digress (shocker!)...the show gave them one JD Fortune, end of last September, and they started on a world tour this past January. . .

And that, everyone, was just the beginning of this story...

Needless, to say, the TV show, combined with my obsessive need to accumulate information (I am an information junkie!) means I am now a proud owner of many brain cells currently filled with endless information about said Band, Our Band, Our Boy, INXS...or as many fondly refer to them, the BINXS (pronounced binks...funny, because I once thought, way back in the 80's, that they were call 'inks' !).

So what do me and my little brain do, other then accumulate somewhat random trivia? Well, for one: I obsessively hang out on my favorite message boards, in the INXS Lounge. . . and chat incessantly with other equally disturbed individuals, LOL (I kid!)...

But, is that it, you ask? Uhmmm, no! I must also decide to attend as many of their shows as possible... Crazy! I have never attended more than one concert in a year, I have never attended more than one concert for a specific artist, ever! And, I have only attended like, 4 other concerts before 2006, ever! Now you say...what, she's talking about 2 or 3 shows, right? Ha! if only...I have attended 3 shows so far, have tickets for 3 more, and will likely buy tickets for 1-2 more...in Excess, in XS, INXS...indeed!

If you don't believe me, read my concert reviews so far...check out MySpace blogs for Seattle (hey, it's home!), Las Vegas and St Charles . (You'll have to scroll past my mini dissertation on the INXS song Taste IT, or read it, if you want to see how really far gone I am!)

Concerts currently on the Itinerary: Nashville, Vancouver, Los Angeles(the Greek)

These could happen...I will attend any additional show if scheduled in Seattle, and maybe one or two more in California. I won't even go into how I am still entertaining the idea of Austrailia...

So, do I need to be committed yet? Wait, don't answer...

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Tough Guys ??????

Interesting...you know those random surveys, tests, quizzes, whatever... That tell you if you are: "in a good relationship", "are you co-dependent", "are you Hot?"...

Well, recently while lurking on my favorite messageboard (RockBand.com INXS Lounge Forum) I stumble across this one: What Kind of Guy Do You Go For ? . I'm like ok...I'm bored...let's see what it says...

Apparently, I like "Tough Guys" ?

Hmmmm... I didn't know that! Here I am 33 yo, and NOW is when I find this out? Well, here's the definition...I guess they know from what they speak, LOL...Here are the specfic results...

Tough guy: You scored 60% masculine, 52% athletic, 45% exotic, and 43% refined! You love men, you love testosterone and you know it. You like a bad-ass man who knows what he wants. He isn't what you might bring home to mom but I don't think it really matters - he's hot! Someone like.....Vin Diesel. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!


I think it's a bit off for me though...Vin Diesel? Uhmm, no! Anyway, take the test...worst case scenario, you spend a couple of minutes drooling over hot half naked men...not a bad way to pass time...

Hello Everyone!

My very first Blog!!! How exciting! (well it is for me!)

So did I use enough exclamation points in that first line?

Ok, so I wonder what I will ever fill a blog with????? Well, I guess words, LOL...

Feel free to comment on anything and everything...

I like words, so if anyone but myself ever reads this... I hope you do too ;)

From your favorite Newbie Blogger, Ems

Check out my current favorite website:
http://www.rockband.com/inxs/

My current favorite Blog:
http://claireduffy.blogspot.com/

About Me

My photo
I am a financial systems analyst by day, and a music & event photographer by night...and weekends! You can see more at http://photosbyelisa.com & my blog here... As well, I am just launching a brand new music site, at http://www.seattleliveinconcert.com

My Flickr :: most recent

www.flickr.com
Elisa ~ www.emswazzu.com's items Go to Elisa ~ www.emswazzu.com's photostream